You may be different, but my biggest obstacle is most often my emotion. Yesterday, I posted about a phone call that I expected to turn into conflict…and my emotions nearly hijacked the call before I started. Fortunately, I got them under control before that happened.
Here is what happens. That voice in my head starts to fill with thoughts that undermine my cooperative spirit. The voice starts telling me things like:
- “No one talked to me before they made that stupid decision. If they had, I could have redirected them before this happened.”
- “I’m never consulted before the mess…only after the mess. That’s all they think I am good for.”
- “Don’t they understand the load I am carrying? They should be more appreciative of my time.”
- “[expletive] rolls downhill. I’m just a little mushroom kept in the dark.”
Those negative thoughts usually have a we/they construct. I’m the “good guy” and they are the “bad guy”. I am the victim and they are the villains.
The truth is that everyone around me is a good guy. They are all trying hard to do the right thing. The people above me (my leaders) are incredibly talented people who earned their position. The people around me are similarly gifted and I am lucky to have them on the team. There are no villains. There are no “bad guys”.
If I can defuse my emotion, I am at least TEN TIMES more effective and productive. If I can find a way to release the internal pressure, I can make a difference.
Here is the thing: I bet you can too. I bet that you are TEN TIMES better if you diffuse your emotions before reacting to the ideas flowing in the room (or email). Find your secret to removing emotion as your obstacle.
Thanks for listening.