I recently posted about the cost of adultery. To be fair, there are often deep rooted relational issues that lead to those costly decisions. And more often than not, those issues are sexual in nature.
I’ve been married for 32 years and sex has always been a difficult topic of discussion. I am uncomfortably aware of the impact of pornography and the objectification of women that formed in my brain as a teenager. I struggle to participate in a topic on sex, whether its with my wife, my kids, or anybody else.
But that is precisely why we need counselors and therapists…people who are trained to help us learn how to communicate and share what is going on inside our brains. I recently came across this TED Talk by Michele Weiner-Davis and she was incredibly articulate at verbalizing issues that many people wrestle with. I truly hope that you will take 17 minutes and absorb the emotional weight of what she has to say.
Then, share the video with your spouse. If the two of you still can’t manage a reasonable conversation about sex…then go to a counselor or therapist who can help.
- Be very careful if you start searching YouTube for more wisdom on sexual issues. You are always one click away from porn, temptation and enticement, objectification of women, and rotten advice. The internet is a great research tool until you use the word “sex”.
- Don’t expect this to be helpful with a sexual partner if you’re not married. Sex outside of marriage is a leading cause of the broken expectations inside of marriage. If you are sexually active and unmarried, your greater challenge is to figure out how to stop and fix what you’ve already broken.
Thanks for listening.