A friend of mine has been struggling with his eldest son. Their “discussions” have been elevating in intensity and I know it has been a difficult season for both of them. I had those times with my dad and my sons had them with me. When he asked Dan Reiland what to do, Dan delivered pure genius on the topic.
Your son is not reacting to you out of malice. It comes as a result of his immaturity. Your son needs space to learn from experience. Give him room and let him bang his head a little. Then, be there to help him when he gets hurt. Explain to him what happened.
You can’t microwave maturity. It comes at it’s own pace of lessons learned. You can’t push him along any faster, so give him room to fail (and to learn on his own).
My friend was in tears when he said “I’ve been reacting to my son as though his rebellion was coming from a heart of malice. I never considered it as a maturity issue. I’m going to back off and give him more room to grow.
My dad gave that gift to me, and I have tried to pass it along to my sons.
Are you giving that gift to others? Can you let them find maturity at their own pace? Can you let them pay the cost they choose to pay?
Thanks for listening.