This year is our 30th wedding anniversary (wow!). When I took Lisa to Italy last fall, we called it our “anniversary trip”. This June, we plan to go on an “anniversary cruise”. Later in August, I’ll probably buy her some “anniversary jewelry”. In short, I’m focused on showering her with gifts to show my appreciation for her patience with me over the years. She is a saint.
We haven’t always had such a good marriage. We struggled a lot in the early years, coping with our issues of selfishness and anger (okay…mostly mine).
In those days – after I would make a mistake and damage the relationship, I would beg her for forgiveness and ask “what can I do to make this up to you?” The problem with that approach is this: I was making her responsible to produce a solution to the broken relationship.
If you damage an important relationship, it is your job to fix it. Don’t ask the other person what to do. If you are honestly unaware of steps to take, ask someone else and do what they tell you. But I don’t really think that is needed.
You know what is needed to rebuild trust. Take action. Don’t allow discussion and analysis to delay what needs to be done.
Thanks for listening.