Each of our conversations have different levels of openness, sharing, and vulnerability. The amount of information shared is usually determined by the degree to which we trust the other person.
Inevitably, we hold back. Some things appear to be too difficult or risky to share.
But that is what hampers real communication. When we withhold the deepest convictions, darkest fears, biggest concerns, and most questionable opinions or observations…we loose the opportunity to achieve the most significant relational breakthroughs.
Over past 20 years, the leaders around me have taught me to carefully and respectfully share the last 10% of the conversation. I work hard to build enough trust and courage to speak what is really on my mind and needed to be said.
The reason this is so difficult is that I have to work hard to discern if sharing the last 10% is more for my benefit or for the benefit of others. If sharing the last 10% is only about “getting it off my chest” and helping me to “feel better”, then I am being selfish and insensitive to others. The only valid reason to speak the last 10% is to add value to the person I am communicating with.
Can you accurately discern your motives…and then dig deep to build the courage to help the other person with the last 10% of the conversation?
Thanks for listening.