A friend of mine was talking to me about having difficult conversations with his adult daughter. He was trying to describe the struggle of navigating all the “landmines” (sensitive issues that lead to explosions).
I was impressed with these words: “Some of the landmines are hers…and she has added to them over time. But some of them were placed there by me over the years. I have to take responsibility for those.”
Are you aware that landmines exist in most relationships? There may be many…or there may be few. Some of them may be ones that you laid because of past hurts created between you.
Some thoughts about the landmines:
- If you learn to spot them early, you can safely navigate around them
- They usually are cloaked in body language, vocal tension, and memories of past experiences
- If you don’t spot them early, you will experience them when they detonate
- Detonate too many and you endanger the relationship
- Over time, you can build trust and work together to defuse them
- Most landmines cannot be removed by one person without the help of the other
I hope that helps a little. Any advice you would offer that dad?